Living in Quito: Top Ten Things You Should Know

10. Dish soap is solidified and comes in plastic tubs




Weird, right? But so much better, I swear it!



9. Milk comes in a bag




In a plastic bag. Don’t try to just cut one corner and use some and then roll it down and close it with a clothes pin. Don’t do it! It will spill in your fridge and you will be sad. Instead, buy a plastic pitcher with a sealable lid and pour it in that. Problem solved.


8. All movies are sold in large video stores comprised entirely of bootleg cds for $1




This is awesome! Just enjoy. (Yes, that is Conan The Barbarian and I don't want to hear a word about it!)


7. Wine in a box




That’s right, I drink wine in a box. What’s it to ya?


6. There are no emissions laws

Oh, there must be some, you say. No, no there’s not. Buses shoot something out of their exhaust pipe that can only be compared to what happens to tourists who eat at the local food stalls. It’s a pure black endless stream that lingers in the air for 20 minutes and will kill you eventually.


5. Panama hats are from Ecuador and you can buy a nice one for $15 dollars that will make you look really cool when you get back home.




If you wear them while in Ecuador you look like a stupid gringo. I learned this the hard way.


4. You can only use small bills and coins

If you try to pay for something that costs $4 with a $5 bill they will look at you like you just did something as horrible and ostentatious as showing a paraplegic beggar a $100 bill and saying you really want to give him a dollar and you will if only, does he possibly have change?


3. All those Sacajawea coins are down here and people use them!




I'm not going to go into why I think they were unpopular in the United States and why I think they are so popular down here, but think about it.


2. This country is gorgeous.

You can climb Andean volcanoes, sunbathe at the beach, sail the Galapagos, explore the Amazon, visit indigenous villages, zipline above cloud forests, sample delicious new foods, and generally do what you do all in Ecuador without breaking the bank.


1. All is fair in love and war and apparently while riding the trolley.

The same people who just walked you 25 minutes out of their way to show you where the cigar shop is, will trample you, your mother, your blind child, and everyone else without batting an eye while on the trolley. If you are trying to get off the trolley, God help you, because as soon as those doors open the 10,000 people on the platform will rush you without allowing any passengers, especially a foreigner like you, off. If you happen to have a seat and kindly stand up and aside so that the man who looks close to 175 can sit down, both you and he will be trampled by every other single person on the trolley clamoring to get your seat. My advice is to take an old sweatshirt and sew spikes and nails to the outside.