Review of Montanita, Ecuador

I was expecting Montanita to be the kind of place that I wouldn’t want to leave. I had heard it was a young, fun, and cheap place and as I like to believe that at least two of these adjectives could be used to describe myself, I thought I would fit right in. Instead I discovered that really I’m only cheap. I am no longer young and fun, at least by Montanita’s standards.

The first disappointment was the beach. Since it is regarded as THE beach party town in Ecuador I was assuming that the beach would be a destination in itself with a large expanse of fine sand full of lithe, tan, mostly naked bodies. There were the bodies, as I described, but the beach was kind of blah. It had yellow, grainy sand, was actually kind of small, and lacked the high bluffs which make Canoa so beautiful. Also, it was really dirty and there were dead jellyfish everywhere.

The second disappointment was the town. It feels really artificial and forced with what looks like pre-fabricated tiki-style restaurants and hostels. Even worse, it wasn’t really that cheap. The restaurants were similar in prices to the US, but without really good flavor. Sure you could get pancakes and eggs or whatever, but for the same price as a night in a hotel anywhere else in Ecuador.

The third, and most disturbing disappointment was that I felt old. Everyone seemed like they were either in late high school or early college with the white girl dreads and hemp necklaces and gypsy skirts. People were braiding hair and offering massages and it was all a little too much for me. I felt like this was where I had fantasized about being when I was 13 and now that I was finally there, I was too old to enjoy it. You know what it was? It was Reggae on the River, or any of the other hippy festivals, except on the beach and without anyone over 25.

We stayed at Hostel Ricky, which was the cheapest place we could find with two big beds and a private bathroom and it was $15 per person. It looked into an interior lounge room without any natural light, our toilet broke, and people partied a few feet from our heads into the wee hours of the morning. Although, on a high note, the fan they gave us was so incredibly loud (seriously sounded like an outboard motor) that it did mostly drown out the shrieking of drunk young women and the laughter of young stoned men.

We didn’t stay long, but what I will say is if you are between the ages of 17 and 23 and fancy yourself a hippy, or want to sleep with someone who fits that description, you will have fun in Montanita. When we went out to breakfast at around 8am, half the town was still raging from the night before. I wish I still had it in me, but I don’t. I so don’t it’s sad.